I met my husband online we dated, got engaged, were married all within a year and exactly 9 months after our wedding date our first son was born. To say the least we really rushed it and didn't think about anything we were really doing.
While we were engaged he ended up leaving me for another woman; oh yes, it's one of these stories. Her name was Jessica and I was so hurt and upset. He was actually seeing her for a few weeks before he ended up breaking up with me. It didn't help that I hadn't dated much AND that I had lost my virginity with him so you can kind of see where my head was at in that moment.
Well, as usual I didn't listen to my parents and just let him go, I tried so desperately to get him back. My parents cared nothing for him and disliked him the first time they met him. I should have listened but I didn't. We ended up getting back together two weeks later and then a month later were married.
The second time he cheated on me and left me for another woman was about 2 years into the marriage, her name was Emily. I found out through her that he had told her that we were all ready separated and going through a divorce. I said "funny, cause until yesterday we were still living together, no legal actions had been taken AND we have a child together". I later found out that this little tryst was going on a few weeks before he decided to leave and move in with his sister and her husband. At the time our oldest son was about 18 months old. As usually he came back a few weeks later wanting to be with me and have our little family back again.
The third and final time he cheated on me and left me for another woman was about 5 years into our marriage, her name is Kristen. I'm sure you are seeing a pattern here so without me going into grave detail basically the same thing happened that happened the last two times. Only difference is they are still together and are planning on getting married and I didn't care this time to have him back. I mean, I did want him back because we have three children together but not because I cared for him and loved him. That had gone a long time ago.
While all this cheating was going on I never did it once, honestly! I thought about it a lot because I wasn't getting things from my husband and he was cheating, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
My husband also has a hard time holding down a job. Probably not a surprise to those of you who have been through this or know someone who has. All during our relationship and marriage he had approximately 18 different jobs in a 6 year time period. I tried to work when I could I did all through my first pregnancy and then I turned into a stay at home mom and had two more children. I did have three part-time jobs in that time. The last part-time job was an ultimatum for my husband. I told him that I got a job and that he needed to get one to help this family out and if he didn't that I would be leaving him. I was tired of not having money, having to move over 5 times because we would get so far behind on rent, not having food and having our utilities shut off at least once a month. As usual it took him a few weeks but he did get a job, a really good job, a job that paid him $15 an hour and all he had was a GED. But as usual he didn't keep it I got upset again and he blamed his boss and co-workers instead of taking any kind of personal responsibility.
I know this is a lot but I feel it's important to explain some of the history here. I am leaving out a lot so if anyone has any questions I'm an open book.
To speed it up after he started cheating on me with Kristen he moved (I have the police report to prove it cause he denies it!) out of our condo into her apartment and then proceeded to say nothing was going on between them. Please, I may have been stupid at the begining of our relationship but I was slowly getting smarter to him and his games. Now, this is where it starts to get really ugly and this is the reason and purpose for me deciding to blog about what's going on.
Because I was a stay at home mom I had no income and our rent was $700 a month. He left July 28th 2008 just a few days before rent was due. When I asked him how it was going to get paid he basically said it was my problem so my grandmother sent a check to my landlord in Florida (this was the state where all of this was taking place). I found out as the days went on that he had a charge back done on his credit card and the electric was going to be disconnected. He transfered the insurance from the vehicle we shared together to the new vehicle that he had just purchased after he left us so he didn't have to pay two months in advance. Thanks to my dad he kepts my lights on and gave me enough money to pay for two months of insurance on the new policy I had to open. Then I get a call from my mother-in-law telling me that my husband reported my cell phone lost/stollen and she wanted to tell me about it. I guess she had enough feelings in her to care about just that. Thanks to my mom she got me another cell phone not to mention the several hundreds of dollars she sent me to pay for other expenses and to take care of me and the kids while I tried to figure the whole mess out.
All of this happened in about a months time. Every morning I dreaded waking up because I had no idea what my husband was going to do next. Plus I was still trying to figure out how to move on from it all and he wasn't making it easy. It's hard enough to pick yourself up and move forward but it's even harder when that person doesn't care about the kids to want to make it as easy as possible, if it's possible.
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